Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Shit happens

Its been a while since i posted something here ...so i thought i would narrate a normal day in college. Rather what i have become accustomed to perceiving as normal in the 4 years i have spent here . This is for the uninformed , my dear friends who always ...specially the ones from school ,yes, you know who you are :) , who always keep reminding me that i complain too much about college. So here it goes -

By virtue, of finishing my semester exams a week ago ,the daily routine of college has finally come to an end. Only the little details for getting clearances for transfer and character certificate remains.

Today , I was hell bent on twisting myself free of the ignominious grasp which this college had had on my life . After getting the clearances from the teachers the library clearance remained. Alas ! I had committed the heinous crime of ...wait for it .... wait a bit more ... ( with drums rolling in the background ).... Losing a Library Card !! So dastardly an act is this , that the guilty must be punished and harassed no end, made to realize the grave sin he has committed and taught such a lesson as to remember it for the rest of their lives as a reminder of the crime itself..never to repeat it in the future . ( Apparently, this is done to instill a professional mentality into the students !!! the phrase WTF comes to mind. )

At 10.30 AM the library faculty informed me they had two cards with them and not the three they had so generously doled out 4 years ago. In order to give clearance you must return all the three library cards. 2 of my cards had a fine on them ,by virtue , of the university postponing exams by an entire month because of the great Calcutta political tamasha ( civic polls ). Anyways , they briefed me on the steps to follow to get my clearance.
1) to write an application to the library authorities ,so that their kind selves may check for the library card.

2)to make a police General diary with the local police station . Get a signed photocopy from the police and submit the same to the library .

3)Pay a fine of Rs 50 for each card lost.

I insisted on skipping to Step 2 but nothing doing .Lest they miss out on the bounty of a HUGE (!!) fine which was due on the card found from the library.

Off we (cause there were other callous souls who were guilty of this crime !! ) went to the local police station .. a mere 20 min walk from the college in the sweltering heat. At the police station we were told , as is the norm with most policemen, just as keen to harass people , that we had to submit proof that indeed we possessed the library cards in the first place , like they did not have more pressing things to look into than going around searching for lost library cards !
OK ! So we were required to submit xerox copies of the cards with us , or a signed and stamped statement from the college that we actually did posses a library card.
Unfortunately , i had not been so thoughtful as to "free" my 2 other library cards which were on fine from the library faculty , before setting of for the police station. (what was i thinking !! ) . Another of my friends had lost all 3 cards and needed a signed and stamped statement from the college. Plus , we were required to modify our applications for the general diaries and add certain other relevant details ! Like they were going to actually look into it later !!

We walk back to college . By this time , our mortal faculties at a stretch by the energy sapping damn heat ... yeah ... we were getting the apt punishment for our heinous crimes !

When my friend informed the librarian of what the police had asked. That he actually needed to sign and involve his name in police affairs !! The guy was out his senses !! It was comical ,stenching of wide eyed hypocrisy when the guy freaked out and started running around college to decide on the next course of action as he clearly did not want to be involved in police matters !! Lest he be held accountable on a later date !

This courageous genius finally managed to find a guy from office who had contacts with that police station. The office guy calls up the police station , chats with the police on the other end of the phone... apparently they were on really pleasant terms and the police demands the students be sent back to the station immediately .... college verification wasn't needed , didn't matter , cause if you have contacts nothing matters ! The college office guy and the police guy were on such jovial terms that he reacts to the situation with a few choice bengali expletives which the office guy relates to us in low voice , lest the decent middle aged ,young women co -workers and guardians of prospective students sitting in the other side of the room should hear such language !

I on the other hand clear my two other library cards , get them photocopied ( Imagine getting library cards photocopied... could this get more lame !! ) .
Finally we walk back to the police station , and submit the documents with all changes made.

On returning to the college at 4 pm and oscillating between college to the police from 10 to 4 for a library card !! we were rewarded for our endeavours with that all essential library clearance .All in a days work. Shit happens.